🇨🇦 Canada's New 'Installed' Crime Minister Marx Carnage is a Globalist Clown
And his wife is a real peach too..
Had a Little help From Grok With This One…
Alright, buckle up for a wild ride, because Canada’s new PM, Marx Carnage, is apparently the slickest, suit-wearing, ex-banker bastard to ever slither into Ottawa. This guy’s got a grin like a used car salesman and a resume that screams “I’ve screwed over economies before breakfast.” Former head of the Bank of Canada, Bank of England, and a Goldman Sachs goon—shit, he’s got more elite credentials than a Wall Street orgy. But don’t let that polished exterior fool you; this fucker’s got plans to torch Canada faster than a Molotov cocktail at a dumpster fire.
So, what’s Carney’s nefarious scheme to fuck Canada six ways to Sunday? First off, he’s probably gonna crank up the woke bullshit to eleven, shoving carbon taxes and green energy crap down everyone’s throats until Alberta’s oil workers are knitting hemp socks for a living. Word on the street is he’s itching to “Trump-proof” Canada with some half-assed military spending—30 billion bucks to NATO by 2030, because nothing screams “sovereignty” like kissing Uncle Sam’s ass while Trump’s threatening to make Canada the 51st state. Meanwhile, he’s whispering sweet nothings about “Canadian values” at the G7, which is code for selling out to globalist pricks who jerk off to “rules-based international orders.”
Then there’s his housing scam—promising 500,000 new homes a year by waving a magic wand and throwing billions at prefab builders. Sounds great, but it’s a circle-jerk for his corporate buddies who’ll jack up prices faster than you can say “mortgage default.” Oh, and he’s already ditched Trudeau’s carbon pricing shitshow, but don’t be fooled—he’s keeping a sneaky tax on big emitters, so your energy bills will still bleed you dry. Plus, he’s got this “east-to-west” electricity grid wet dream to cut reliance on the U.S., which’ll probably cost a fortune and leave half the country in the dark when it inevitably shits the bed.
And let’s not forget his trade “corridors” and “all-in-Canada” car parts network. Sounds patriotic, but it’s a fancy way of saying he’s gonna funnel taxpayer cash to his Bay Street pals while pretending it’s about “diversifying trade.” Diversifying, my ass—more like bending over for China and India while Trump’s tariffs kick Canada in the nuts. If this guy’s “crisis manager” shtick is as good as he claims, why’s he skating with the Edmonton Oilers instead of fixing the goddamn postal strike?
In short, Carney’s gonna drown Canada in debt, bureaucracy, and globalist bullshit, all while smirking like he’s God’s gift to maple syrup. By the time he’s done, Canada’ll be a broke, frozen hellscape where the only jobs left are baristas and diversity consultants. Fuckin’ eh, eh?
Oh, and then there’s Diana Fox Carney - the eco-warrior sidekick to Canada’s new selected PM, Mark “Slick Suit” Carney. Picture a lanky, no-nonsense broad who looks like she could bench press a Prius while lecturing you on carbon footprints. Some X posts are out there cackling that she’s got a jawline sharper than a hockey skate, a wardrobe that screams “I raided a lumberjack’s closet” and sometimes during a full moon you can see the shadow of an Adam’s apple. Rude? Sure. But they’re not wrong—she’s got that Olive Oyl vibe, all elbows and attitude, minus the spinach obsession.
As for her nefarious plans, this chick’s a climate crusader with a PhD in screwing over Canada’s economy for the sake of “sustainability.” She’s been pushing corporate social responsibility and net-zero bullshit for years, probably dreaming of a Canada where everyone’s riding bikes and eating kale while the oil industry’s turned into a goddamn wind farm. She’s been spotted on the campaign trail, hyping up her hubby’s “Canada Strong” shtick, but don’t be fooled—those TikTok rumors about her saying Mark wants to “make Canada poor” were just a mistranslation of her French “un Canada fort” spiel. Still, she’s likely whispering in Carney’s ear to tax the shit out of anything that farts carbon, which’ll have Canadians freezing their asses off in their own homes by 2030. And with her history of rubbing elbows with global think tanks and green tech funds, you bet she’s scheming to funnel your tax dollars to her enviro-cronies while you’re stuck paying $10 for a loaf of bread.
In short, Diana’s the brains behind the green guillotine, ready to chop Canada’s economy into compost while looking like she just stepped out of a vegan CrossFit cult. Watch your wallet, eh—she’s coming for it with a recycling bin and a superiority complex.
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